I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
