with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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