Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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