i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize