i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize