I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
