Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
