you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize