I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
