I just threw up on my dentist
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
