He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize