I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I will be naked everywhere
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
