Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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