Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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