I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
