i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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