Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I want her autograph on my taint
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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