wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
