You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
