I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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