last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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