i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
