Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize