too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
