Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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