just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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