i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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