It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
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