escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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