Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
