She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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