brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Christians are straight up FREAKS
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize