I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
what day is it and did you see me today?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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