I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
