Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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