I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize