The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
