Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
