I feel like abortions should bother me more
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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