Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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