PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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