what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
