I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
