There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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