I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
