ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
