Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
