Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
