I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
