the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Farmville is her only friend.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
