I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
