Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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