On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
