i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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