Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
