i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
