I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
