Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
