Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize