apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
