So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize