i jhust puked up my retainher.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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