I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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